Sounds of Silence

As many of you know, I had very minor surgery on June 24th to remove a benign cyst from my left vocal cord. My recovery involves one week of complete voice rest followed by a second week of voice restrictions (5 min per hour of low, calm voice only).  It's a huge pain to spend a chunk of my summer having to stay quiet when I'd rather be catching up with friends, taking my kids to various summer activities, enjoying dinners with Brian, taking long walks and talking about our future, etc., etc. It's only temporary and I'm excited to finally get my voice back by mid-July.

Having this time of voice rest has really prompted me to think about a lot of things.  It has made me really think about what my voice means to me. Why do I say the things that I do? Do I talk too much? Do I yell at my kids that much? Do I use a loud voice more than most people? Why can't I be one of those soft-spoken moms whose children seem to wait with baited breath for her next important statement? Does the fact that I use my voice inappropriately (thereby causing this condition) mean that I'm also a really bad listener?  If I had to, could I live without the ability to speak?

Yes, I've had lots of time to think about all of these questions.  I don't know that I have the answers, but these same observations keep coming back to me.

Observation #1: 90% of what you say is unimportant

I hereby commit myself to work harder to cut back on talking just to hear myself talk. My focus will be on saving my voice for those things that really need to be said. It's amazing how little you really, really need to say when it comes down to it. Less is more.

Observation #2: When you can't talk, you don't talk about other people.

I learned that I apparently gossip way too much. There were multiple times this past week when I wanted to make a comment or share something with someone, but couldn't.  I have learned that I can and should live without this nasty vice.

Observation #3: Taking an evening walk with the husband in silence gives HIM a chance to tell you all of the things that are on his mind.

A change in routine can put a spark in any marriage.

Observation #4: Listening is a lost art

When you really stop to hear what people around you and people in front of you are saying, you can really learn a lot. You can hear the emotions in their conversations which can help you to understand the dynamics of the relationships around you. I really enjoyed listening to my kids talk to each other this week rather than involving me in their conversations. 

Observation #5: Gestures are a powerful and mostly positive way to communicate 

While most of my communication with my kids this week has been on a need-to-know basis, I have indeed communicated with them. In some ways, I have communicated better with them this week than when I do have a voice.  This has been mainly through gestures.  As they have shared with me their needs, their complaints, their worries, their likes and dislikes, I have responded using various gestures.  These gestures include the thumbs up or down, a smile, the shrugged shoulders, a clap, a hug, a kiss and a high five. When I think about each gesture, it occurs to me that they are by and large very positive gestures. I don't have the voice to criticize, make snide comments or judgments this week. I think we are all happier about that.  I will admit to a few eye rolls, though!

Observation #6: Silence is golden

Last week at Mass, we were encouraged to find at least 15 minutes of silence per day. During this time of voice rest, I have found myself in way more than 15 minutes of silence per day. At first, I had planned on staying home a lot, reading a lot and avoiding situations where I would normally have to have conversations.  I had huge plans to check a few books off my summer reading list, to complete some lesson planning, exercise, to do some web browsing, yoga and yes, some Netflix binging. What I found is I just wanted to sit and listen to the world around me. I heard birds this week that I don't remember hearing this time of year in Ohio. The wind chimes on my back porch are a frequent reminder of cool summer breezes that make hot days much more bearable. I am hearing the conversations between my kids and absorbing the preciousness of their sibling connections. I am turning inward to try and hear what my heart is telling me about myself, my goals and my hopes for the future. I will admit to just listening to hear if God is telling me anything I should know.

Which brings me to my last observation during this time of silence...

Observation #7: Even if you can use your voice, sometimes there are no words

It really is more than just a pithy little saying that people post in their status update (i.e. "Another mass shooting? There are no words.")  During my week of silence, many people around me were dealt hard, fatal and devastating blows.  A mother's death after a hard-fought battle with cancer, a young boy's death from the same type of aneurysm that took my brother, a friend's father's home destroyed by flooding, the complete loss of a home due to fire of my daughter's classmate, a lost job and a leukemia relapse for our dear young friend that has taken our breath away. While some of these tragedies are only being felt remotely, others are being felt first hand by me and my family. At a time when people want to talk about their fears, their pain, their sadness and their faith (or lack thereof), I can only nod my head to express that I understand.  I can hug to say I care and I can mobilize the troops using my 21st century skills in social media networking, but that's about it.  There truly are no words that can lessen the pain of these families or assuage their fears of a future unknown. I've learned to be okay with not having anything to say.  There is a time for words and there is a time for love and action. I am forced to choose the latter and I'm okay with that.

If I had to choose which of my five senses to give up permanently, I honestly think I could lose my voice. Modern technology made things a little easier and I mostly learned that I really DON'T have that much to say! I'm glad that I'm slowly starting to talk again, but these lessons I learned during my week of voice rest will hopefully serve me as I plow forward into the next phase of my journey.

Rafting Photos

Here are some of the rafting photos that I ordered from Wave Expeditions. Let me know if you would like to see more. I have shared the photo folder with those parents whose kids are in these two rafts.
The following travelers are in these photos:

In the raft with two red helmets:

Heidi Morrissey

Craig Potts

Adam

Michael

Justin

Josh

Guide: Erick

In the raft with all blue helmets:

Megan Morrissey

Molly Morrissey

Vibha

Natalie

Kaye

Kellie

Guide: Oscar

Friday Part 2: Homeward Bound

Cincinnati has its flying pigs and San José has the painted cows. This one is in front of the Best Western Irazú. We walked by it many times, but I don't think anyone ever stopped to read about its significance (including me). We were always on our way somewhere!

Today was our last breakfast in Costa Rica. We talked and laughed at Denny's for the last time. The kids were unbelievably prompt and efficient in their packing during this entire trip. I can't remember one time when we had to wait on any of them. That was both surprising and much appreciated! They are great travelers!

 

We got a stupendous surprise when Elmer showed up to take us to the airport. We had said goodbye to him after rafting and weren't sure who would be taking us to the airport. The kids were ecstatic when he arrived! We formed great bonds with our tour guide Rafa and Elmer.  Explorica hires top notch talent and we were the beneficiaries of their cultural expertise and superb driving ability! We gave Rafa a USA jersey and we gave Elmer a Mason Soccer shirt. They both wore them today and the kids were so tickled. We are hoping to have both of them next year on our trip!

Me with Rafa, an amazing guide

Chaperones with Elmer and Rafa

Kids with Elmer and Rafa

Molly and Rafa

Mr. Potts is ready to travel home

This is where I would normally go into detail about our long travel day. Suffice it to say that it was a long day. Getting 34 kids and 9 adults through security (not once, but twice), customs and immigration all in a very short period of time was not easy, but we did it. The kids were cooperative as we all experienced different enforcement of security policies and procedures. They all learned that when you get a gate check tag, you DON'T take your carry on suitcase on the plane! That alone made our return flights more efficient than our flights to Costa Rica. It was exhausting, but also exciting to see the families waiting for us when we arrived at midnight at the middle school. I was in tears which is saying a lot!

In the coming days, I hope to write some of my post-trip thoughts about this trip. There is so much to say and I want to be sure that I write down my observations before they fade deep into my memory. I will close this blog today with these two photos which I believe to be two of the sweetest photos out of the 600 that I took.  It shows the bonds that were created between kids who had never met and the bonds that were strengthened when families got to experience new things together. Pura Vida!

Mrs. Habra and Steven Habra

Molly and Jordan

Thursday Part 2: Rafting on the Sarapiquís River

NOTE: There are no photos in this post as we didn't take our cameras with us rafting.

It was an early morning here at the Best Western Irazú hotel and casino. Yes, that's right. Apparently this hotel has a casino, but I haven't seen it. I'm assuming the kids haven't either!  I was up super early so I visited the hotel gym for a quick workout while everyone slept. Breakfast was at the Denny's Restaurant here at the hotel at 6am.  After a quick bathroom break, we boarded the bus and headed to the eastern part of Costa Rica to go white water rafting.  The last time I rafted was in high school. I wasn't much older than the kids we have with us. I remember the water being freezing cold. I also remember getting thrown from the boat and held under the boat for a brief period of time.  It didn't traumatize me, but it didn't instill a love for river rafting deep in my soul either. I knew that today would be beautiful and exciting, but I didn't expect to love it like I did.

The river itself has Class 1, 2, 3 and 4 rapids. In our boat, we had two adults and three boys, Michael, Adam and Josh.  Out of all of us, only Mr. Potts and I had ever rafted before today.  The boys were very confident and nonchalant as we ventured into the river. The name of the first set of rapids was called "el café de la mañana" which means "coffee of the morning."  That was an understatement! To take kids who have never rafted and throw them into a Class 4 section of the river was truly a jolt to their systems. It got all of our attention rather quickly. No one fell out of the raft, but we quickly realized that falling out at some point today was not only possible, but highly likely. Our guide, Erick, was firm, but gentle with us as he taught us the commands of "forward," "lean in," and "DOWN!"

We stopped halfway along the route to have some freshly cut pineapple and watermelon. While some of us ate fruit, others climbed to the top of a cliff and jumped into the water. Almost everyone in our group tried it, including most of the adults (except me...not my idea of a good time). Molly and Ian, our two rising 6th graders thought about jumping, but walked back down the cliff when they saw how high it was. I was really proud of how many kids did the jump! It was much higher than a high board!

The second half of the route was a little tamer than the first half...for some people. Our boat did something wacky and we got turned around in a Class 3 rapid. I got bumped out backwards and landed on the edge of a large rock and got stuck between the rock and the raft. Thankfully, Adam and the guide were able to pull me out pretty quickly. I guess you can say that I was literally caught between a rock and hard place. It was a hard fall, but I think I'm ok.  I landed right below my right kidney area. I think I took most of the brunt of the blow to the back of my pelvis/hip bones.  I'm sore, but grateful that I didn't hit in the middle of my spine or worse, my head. I reserve the right to say it was "super cool" falling off backwards like I did until next week when it's clear that I didn't do any major damage to my back. I really wanted to be that really cool middle-aged, middle school teacher who rocked the class 4 rapids in Costa Rica during her summer vacation. Instead, I'm the lame old lady who did something stupid and got herself knocked out of the boat. 

We had lunch at an outdoor shelter hosted by the rafting company. It was another traditional Costa Rican buffet with rice, beans, fish, chicken and beef.  Most of us slept on the way back to the hotel. At around 3:30, we arrived back at the hotel. Some kids shopped, while others went straight to the pool.  Dinner was at a buffet across the street from the hotel.  It was ANOTHER traditional Cost Rican buffet. Even I'm getting tired of beans and rice and that's saying something!

We have a 1pm flight tomorrow, so we are leaving for the airport at 9:30am. It will be a very long day! Bedtime is later tonight to give the kids one last chance to hang out and swim together! The bonds that they have formed are so precious! I love this age!

Wednesday: Transition back to city life

We were blessed with an 8am breakfast time this morning.  The kids really needed it after the past few days of nonstop action. I was up at 6am and decided to take a long walk on the beach. Other chaperones were up and about, so I left my sleeping girls while I walked the beach for about 45 minutes and then around town for another 15 minutes or so. I rewarded myself with an almond milk cold brew at a Jacó coffee roaster's shop. It was delicious. I will miss the coffee here to much! Of course, I think I have a whole suitcase full that I'm bringing back with me!

The kids were able to swim or shop after breakfast.  Many of the kids were excited because today's breakfast included sausage (aka hotdogs cut up into small pieces) and pancakes. Some of the kids haven't quite figured out that you MUST eat when food is offered or you WILL go hungry. They are on food strike when new things are offered to them. If they don't recognize it, they won't put it on their plates. If it's green or looks like a legume, forget about it. My girls aren't any better, but I am at least monitoring them to make sure that they are trying foods that aren't familiar. I have been encouraging the other kids to do the same, but some are pretty downright defiant when it comes to trying new things. I won't force or make anyone feel badly, but I will at least explain what it is and what it tastes like so that they can make a more informed choice. 

I picked up a few more souvenirs while shopping this morning and made a quick trip into the grocery store for some Costa Rican candy for the girls in my group. They have really been incredible travelers. I met some high school students today and when I listened to them complaining about how "awful" certain things were (like slow WiFI and bad food), I thanked my lucky stars for being on a trip with middle school kids. Our kids have had great attitudes and great behavior for most of the trip. All of my fears about behavior and homesickness have been washed away. There have been minor incidents, some boy/girl drama, a couple of bumps and cuts, an isolated case of vomit, a few clogged toilets, nasal congestion and a tick (on an adult), but if this is the worst of things, we are truly blessed. The kids have been very responsible for their things. We haven't lost an electronic device or any luggage. Truly, our student travelers rock!

We left the hotel in Jacó around noon to go back to San José. Along the way, we stopped at a roadside buffet/souvenir shoppe owned by the Sarchí oxcart family. Lunch was served buffet/cafeteria style. I had a tossed salad, rice, beans and a delicious piece of fish. Tasty! After lunch, I shopped some more and completed my shopping list.  Until the next place that is! I purchased a mola which is a Panamanian handstitched fabric made by Kuna Yala indigenous women of Panama (border country to Costa Rica's south). These beautiful pieces of fabric/art have been identified as one of the most authentic and complex craft items in all of Latin America, so I felt honored to purchase one to support the region. It, along with some of my other souvenirs, will go in my "yellow" room at home where I have hung various arts and crafts from my trips. 

By 3pm we were safely back at the Best Western San José. I have to say that this place feels like the Ritz compared to our other hotels.  No complaints as I didn't expect 5 star accommodations, but it's amazing how much you miss a clean bathroom, hot water and an in-room coffee maker!

At 6pm, we left the hotel to go to the Ram Luna Restaurant where we enjoyed an evening of folklore and fiesta. The views from the restaurant allowed us to see the entire city of San Jose. 

The food was very traditional Costa Rican cuisine. I had a little of everything!  

I especially loved the honey baked pumpkin for dessert. We stayed for about half of the show. The kids were exhausted and we have a 6am breakfast tomorrow before heading to our final activity: white water rafting!

Tuesday: Manuel Antonio and La Escuela

Today we left the hotel around 8am to travel about an hour to the smallest national park in Costa Rica, Manuel Antonio National Park.  I have taught my students about this park for several years, but until today, I had never visited.  My expectations were high and I'm happy to report that they were exceeded.  By far, today was my favorite day of the trip.  Our first breakfast here at Balcon Del Mar was great for the parents, but only so-so for the kids. It seems that pancakes have become a staple and this hotel restaurant only served authentic breakfast items like papaya (you know how I feel about that), gallo pinto, eggs, plantains and of course a nice pulled beef stew. What????  It sounded strange, but I had to try it. It was very tasty, but probably not the first thing I would order off a breakfast menu. Everything else was delectable! 

On the way to Manuel Antonioo, our tour guide pointed out a restaurant that is built out of an airplane. This airplane played a significant role of the Nicaraguan civil war between the Sandinistas and the US-backed Contras. Listening to Rafa discuss Costa Rica's participation made me long for my undergrad days when I sat for hours in seminars with refugees and professors who had survived and lived to tell about their experiences in war torn Central America.  The political climate of Central and South America post-1950 is so interesting to me and so unknown to so many Americans.  Things (like people who just "disappear" and political corruption) are still happening today in some places. People from the US can usually talk in detail about the Kardashian family but very few could even point to the vicinity of Nicaragua on a US map. There are some truly intriguing stories that have come out of Latin American in recent years. I encourage history buffs to give Latin American history a chance!

Now, back to Manuel Antonio...The park itself is both rain forest and beach.  To get to the beach, you must walk along the sloth trail.  The kids have been anxious all week because we haven't seen as much wildlife as we had expected. Today made up for any shortfall!  Along the sloth trail, we met our first coati. The coati is a member of raccoon family, but is more commonly referred to by our tour guide as part of the "Manuel Antonio Mafia."  These guys come out of nowhere and tease visitors with their cuteness.  They bait you into squatting down to eye level so that you can take a cute photo of them. Then, without warning, they take both claws and grab your knapsack.  They run off into the trees leaving you unsure of what actually just happened. No, this didn't happen to us, but it happened to the group that was hiking beside us. It was both hilarious and terrifying as the coati took off with the poor hiker's beach towel and apple. They warned us not to bring snacks into the park and now we know why.  

We continued hiking and saw a sloth that was too high up to capture on camera.  We saw these crazy looking crabs that would make really cool 4th of July decorations! They were distinctly red, white and blue! 

We also took a walk alongside this friendly deer.

As we got closer to the beach, the fun really began. It was a white-faced monkey party!  Monkeys were everywhere.  Tons of photos were taken and the kids were thrilled. We also spotted another sloth. This time we were really able to see him up close. 

Once the thrill of sloths and monkeys subsided, the kids changed into their bathing suits and jumped in the water.  The beach was unbelievably beautiful.  The best comparison I can make is Hawaii. The views are gorgeous in every direction and eventually you have to stop taking pictures and enjoy it first hand.  While the kids went swimming, the adults supervised and took turns walking to various overlooks. The pictures don't do it justice, but you get the idea.  I posed for my obligatory yoga shot and am very pleased with the result.  Tree pose is not a difficult yoga pose for me, but on top of a rocky boulder, with the wind blowing and waves crashing up on my feet, it was super challenging. I'm. actually surprised that we caught it on film! 

After beach time we walked to a local restaurant for an amazing lunch. It was as delicious as it was beautifully presented. We had marinated chicken, rice, beans, salad greens and fresh pico de gallo made with chayote and carrots. It was topped with large plantain chip and served with blackberry juice.  ¡Pura vida!

We boarded the bus and headed to a local rural school to visit with the students and give them some school supplies from the States. I was designated to be our spokesperson, but my job was eliminated quickly when the kids took it upon themselves to strike up conversations with their new Tico friends. While some kids practiced their Spanish with the students, most of our student travelers started playing a crazy game of fútbol with the students.  It was a hilariously unorganized game, but the nonverbal communication that was going on was priceless.  Cultural barriers melted today and kids were just being kids.  It was awesome! At the end of our visit, we took a group picture.  Then, I happily presented one of the teachers from the school with a large basket of school supplies.  She will hand them out to students in order of need.  I hope to send letters to the school this year with my own students to keep the lines of communication open. It was eye opening for the US kids to see the school conditions today.  One bathroom, a library with only a handful of books, open air classrooms, no technology and more.  I hope that they took a moment to reflect on how blessed we are to live in a place where our schools are clean, modern and academically challenging. Because of the shortage of teachers and state funds, Costa Rican students only take the four core academic subjects.  They go to school for either 4 hours in the morning or 4 hours in the afternoon. There are no electives like art or music in rural schools. Sometimes grades are combined into one classroom because there aren't

enough teachers. While Costa Rica is one of the wealthiest countries in Central America, it is still poor by US standards. It is one of the few Central American countries with a middle class which sets it apart from its neighbor, Nicaragua.

Upon returning to the hotel, we had some free time.  Many students went swimming while the adults supervised and reconnected to the hotel Wifi.  Others, like me, went shopping. I picked up a couple of souvenirs and made it back in time for dinner.

For dinner tonight, we had several options.  Our cold course was a choice between beet salad or tossed salad.  Why thank you, I'll take both.  We then could chose from rice, garlic pasta, veggies, chicken or beef stew.  It was an odd combination, but it worked. Some of the kids bought themselves ice cream after dinner. Desserts are not a priority for

most Costa Ricans. 

We will hit the sheets at 9 tonight and tomorrow we get to sleep in until 8!  The morning is free for swimming or shopping.  Then, we leave promptly at noon to start our journey back to the capital.